How I arrived at an idea for my Design Research Master Thesis -

(Early)Explorations on the idea of engaging in a dialogue about spatial practices beyond the architect’s bubble

One of the critical questions I am attempting to dissect through my ongoing Design Research master thesis is to analyse frameworks aimed at generating discussion around spatial knowledge beyond the typical disciplinary institutional settings. After all, for the general public - the built environment is a lived reality of their everyday life. As an architect, I have always been intrigued by this jarring question of how do I engage in a dialogue around the concepts of the art of space making and the state of the built environment with a wider group. How to move beyond the master/star-architect syndrome? How are the architectural vision and the image of an architect portrayed to the general public? Etc. In the blog post, I will dissect the motivation behind this topic in three parts.

a) The Girl in the city

In Mumbai, one inhabits many dualities as a constant form of negotiation. The city indeed prompts people to learn to live harmoniously, especially when everyone is so densely packed together. The built environment of the city resonates a nostalgic remnant of its past, the struggles of its bursting present and the debatable yet ambitious visions of its future. For a city which has absorbed people from literally everywhere, it is captivating to see how people transgress the urban space to make the city their own home. The city indirectly conditions one to find order in chaos, safety and belonging in the crowd, and craft their own unique experiences.

In this city, multiple layers of identity fuse together for a person to eventually call themselves a Mumbaikar. For eg. linguistically, I am a Gujarati woman, who can conversate in English, Hindi, Gujarati, and Marathi (I am upset that I have lost my fluency in Marathi, especially since my essays would be read out in school) (This list does not even include my slight awareness towards Parsi, Sindhi, Punjabi, Kannada, Urdu, French, Pahadi, Marwari, Rajasthani dialects etc). Because when I walk around the city, I hear all these languages as the voice of its residents. In a religious narrative, I see the streets vibrantly transform for the plethora of festivals across all faiths. And similarly, I can go on and on dissecting many layers of identity, but you get the point. The way I move around as a common Mumbaikar, travelling alongside people from all socio-economic backgrounds, be it vegetable vendors, corporate employees, housewives to filthy rich CEO also is a constant reminder of how we ironically inhabit this city. Our identities are very much interwoven in a wide narrative of various realities we experience around us. As a young woman, I am also incredibly proud of how comfortably (safely) I can navigate in the city at any hour of the day. (although there are some zones where I wouldn’t - but largely I can, especially in local trains in which many times there is at least one policeman ensuring safety even beyond midnight). Oh, and how can I forget about winding down the day by spending time at the Mumbai coastline by relaxing on Juhu Beach/ Chowpatty/ Bandstand/ Marine drive……

Apart from all this romanticization, I am extremely conscious of how the city has reached its limits and now houses many dark realities. The city has witnessed a lot also - from environmental issues around mangroves and floods, to riots, terrorist attacks, etc. and now the fairly recent covid pandemic. The struggles of the very basics for a huge population are heartwrenching. The city is a wonderful reality check of the respective privileges we all hold. On one hand, I am very conscious of my privilege also, that I had the opportunity to pursue my (naive) dream of becoming an architect. Almost three years into the practice, I am now increasingly feeling like what the hell am I even doing?

b) The architect in the city

I always felt pulled in all directions when I attempted to practise and research in Mumbai. Constantly aware of the vast spectrum of socio-economic realities. I have always questioned - who do I really want to practise for? Will I just be an architect engaged in some fancier projects for a very small percentage of the residents? Or someone who works at grassroots levels in navigating urban planning issues? Or will I write jargonised theories about the city which will be published in some academic setting? Will I work in a firm with a meagre salary or slog to establish my practice hoping that I eventually bag clients? These questions are amplified as a young woman in practice which is still largely dominated by men. The uncertainty surrounding how to direct one’s career path easily bags one a lot of mental health issues. Sometimes I so wish I had chosen a profession which would have maybe given me a more simple, stable, boring life. But now that I am far deep into it, I am attempting to find a small little bubble of mine wherein I can hope to make some positive difference and lead a more balanced happier life for myself too. It is this very thing - of identifying one small area of interest that the design research course gave me the mental space and time to explore. For someone who was always constantly crazily working hard, engaged in multiple initiatives, surrounded by many people with the same fire, etc somehow life hit a full burnout moment in Germany. Even though I would stay distant and silent, my head would constantly be bursting with the insane intensity of thoughts. Thoughts which I really needed to process, in the background of being in a very different context compared to Mumbai while facing health struggles also. It took me the entire German winter to condition myself to see this time, as a time of solitude and reflection.

c) The aspiring design researcher in Germany

This urge of mine to understand the Indian city amplified even more since I am now in Germany. The cities of the global north are drastically different. Sometimes when I move around, I feel a little alien to this language of urbanity. Our worlds are so vividly different to the point wherein it feels magically unreal.

In an attempt to feel a sense of belonging over here, my over-analytical mind started actively dissecting various layers of the German city too. After a point, just travelling to new cities made no difference to me, unless I truly absorbed one city at least. And that is how I started visiting Berlin and experiencing it through various lenses. And now I have such a huge list of things to see/ experience that I will no way finish it in the next two months :p I still remember how my initial impression of Berlin during winters was very stark, cold and grey - and how that image has delayered and evolved with every visit to the point that I will actually really miss Berlin.

And this very habit - of consciously trying to absorb a place, made me revisit my city and all my memories again appeared very vividly. These intuitive thoughts have constantly pulled me back to my mental bubble of finding an area of interest. And since I was struggling to write my master thesis, I wrote this impulsive blog to revisit my journey and motivation for the same :)